hii im 23anhedonia but you can call me anna! I feel a disconnect to my name, it doesnt feel like mine. It doesnt feel like me. But really, you can call me whatever you want. I dont care. I just want to be called something.

I am 18 years old and live in New Zealand. I have lived here my whole life and I really do not like it here. I want to move to New York, I have always wanted to. Don't come to NZ. It sucks here. Its never felt like home and I have always felt like I was meant for more,, like I deserved more.

I am incredibly mentally ill. I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and am suspected to have borderline personality disorder and cptsd. My therapist has just referred me to a clinical psychologist to get assessed, so hopefully that happens soon! I have also been diagnosed with adhd, autism, and an auditory processing disorder. I am currently on medication and in therapy, but it is a constant struggle.

I am in my first year of university, studying a bachelor of psychology. I chose to study psychology because I want to understand myself and others better. I want to be able to help people who are struggling like I am. I have always been interested in the human mind and behavior, and I hope to one day work in the mental health field. I want to give myself,, and others, a purpose. A reason to live.

My interests include art, music, and film. I have always been a creative person, as a kid I found art to be a way to express myself and escape from reality. Im not good at playing music. In year 9 I had to play flute and I couldnt even get a sound out of it! so i spent the whole year pretending to play it and just moving my fingers. Who knows how I made it so long without the teacher realising! However, I do enjoy listening to music and going to concerts.

I spend a concerning amount of time consumed by watching tv shows and movies. I have a very long list of shows that I have watched and loved, and I am always looking for new recommendations. Some of my favourite shows include: the rookie, NANA, criminal minds, castle, and yellowjackets. I also love movies, which I log on letterboxd

I learnt about neocities through tiktok in May of 2025, and I was immediately drawn to it. I loved the idea of creating my own little corner of the internet, where I could express myself without the fear of my family finding out. Well, they know I code but dont know what my site is called and this will be alot more difficult for them to find than my tiktok was!



I know I fucked up. I miss you.



In highschool I went to a private school but I was very socially anxious and struggling a lot. In year 10 I ended up freaking out and completely ruining all my friendships, to the point where I had to move schools. I went to a public school for year 11 and 12, but I was still struggling a lot and didnt make many friends and if I did, I couldnt keep them for long. I was very isolated and alone, and it was really hard. I am still struggling with social anxiety and making friends, but I am trying my best to work on it.

I have a few good friends now but I dont fully trust them yet. I am still very guarded and closed off, but I am trying to open up more and be more vulnerable with them. I want to be able to have deep and meaningful friendships, but it is hard for me to let people in. I have been hurt a lot in the past, and I am scared of getting hurt again.

Im not sure what else to say. I dont really know what to say. I just want to be able to talk to people and connect with others who are going through similar struggles. I want to be able to share my experiences and hopefully help others who are struggling. I want to be able to make friends and have a support system.

I have brunette hair and blue eyes. I am of average height and weight for my age. I have my lobes pierced (only once) and my septum pierced. I dont have any tattoos, but I want some! I would just have to do placements where they arent visable for my parents to see. I have no income though so I cant afford to get any tattoos at the moment. I am not very good at describing myself, so I will just leave it at that.

here is some of my tattoo inspo!



if you want to be friends you can find me on twitter or discord @23anhedonia.